Overheard in the office

What happens when a proofreader has too much time on his hands:

Commonly heard by the proofreader:

“Don’t find anything wrong.”

“That’s what the client approved.”

“That’s what legal approved.”

“Please don’t find anything wrong.”

Constant feminine chatter regarding weddings and/or children

“How late can you stay?”

“Do I have to change that?”

“Please, please, please don’t find anything wrong.”

“Have you ever actually spoken out loud in the office? Ever?”

Never heard by the proofreader:

“Yes, I’d love to make this grammatically correct.”

“The client is very thankful for your input.”

“Why, yes, I thought The DaVinci Code was overwritten pop-thriller nonsense, too! Have you ever read The Name of the Rose? Now, there’s a sizzler.”

“Let’s see... what are you waiting on? A one-page ad you’ve already proofed five times? The only change was moving the map graphic around? No need for you to wait another hour and a half -- go ahead home and put some food in your stomach and relax. We’ve got this covered.”

Ah, office life...