You gotta start somewhere

• Radar Online lists "The Embarassing Books They Wish You'd Forget."

Which is scarier? Dan Brown writing a humor book (with his wife) as "Danielle Brown"? Annie Proulx penning a how-to book about apple cider? Or Scooter Libby's fascination with bestiality?

Answer: None. The real winner is Charlie Sheen, whose poetic skills are unmatched in the world's literary canon:

There's a goat in my ass,
Living mainly on grass.
They say the creature was stolen,
Yet he feeds on my colon.
—From Peace of my Mind, Charlie Sheen, 1988