When in debt, write a book

• Andy Borowitz imagines a friendly conversation between authors in The New Yorker.

Simpson: I thought it would be interesting to put myself inside the head of a sociopathic killer—sort of like what Bret Easton Ellis did in “American Psycho.”

Greenspan: I love Bret’s work.

Simpson: When I was in the writing program at Iowa, one of my teachers—Raymond Carver, I think—said, “Juice, write what you know.” But I think the only way to grow as a writer is to create a character who is the opposite of you, and ask, “What makes that guy tick?”

Greenspan: I’m curious—if he’s the opposite of you, why did you name him O. J. Simpson?

Simpson: I have to admit I stole that idea from Martin Amis. In “Money,” he introduced a character named Martin Amis.

Greenspan: I am such a fan of Martin’s, but I don’t think what you did is really stealing.

Simpson: (laughing) Well, you know, to a certain extent, Alan, all writers are armed robbers.