There's an award for everything

• The latest "winner" of the Bulwer-Lytton literary parody prize has been announced.

Jim Guigli of California, come on down:

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

One day, I will win this prize, too.