Six degrees of storytelling

Following up on Wired's six-word short stories, here are the fruits of Friday-afternoon office ennui:

Wachovia. Watches over ya. Too much. [Matt Ward]

Corporate greed. Indictment. Heart failure.
Hero orphaned. Fears overcome. Group victory!
Dirt. Mud. Spin. Sound bite. Election.
In the beginning God. We hated.
Wannabe Samurai joins seven. Blood everywhere.
Once upon a time. Ever after.
Aliens eating sushi. 12:01 oceans emptied. [Jeremy Tufts]

Testman jumped out of television. Angry.
Copywriter presents campaign. Client checks watch.
Hypnosis proved unsuccessful. Account lost. Layoffs.
Within the color printer hamsters multiplied.
Painter fell. Family sued. Agency closed. [Aaron Johnston]

Redundant. You’re telling me that I’m
Violence antidote perfected. Those responsible assassinated.
Born. Died. Born again. Damn zombies. [Jason Comerford]